Whispers of my Heart
by Ms.AnimeManga4ever
Summary: Just a one-shot about Utau when she is still in Easter's clutches. How does she really feel about everything going around her? What if inside her heart is crying in despair? Do we truly understand what she's thinking and how she feels?


This is just a one-shot side story off shugo chara!. It's about how Utau feels when she has her brother complex toward Ikuto. Now I don't support that pairing-though I guess they could be cute together-I thought I would write this. I was just relaxing before going to bed, listening to Akaneiro no sora when I thought; I wonder what was going through Utau's mind during that portion of her life. And I know they show her dealing with it and she voices her thoughts on the subject, but do you really actually understand what's going through her mind? I mean, she's in love with a boy who won't give her the time of day because they both know it's wrong. And on top of it Ikuto is stuck in Easter's chains. She takes on the responsibility to fight for and protect her brother. It's a very brave and mature thing to do at her age. I feel like people forget her age, I never really think about it myself. She's just a 14-15 year old girl, and she's fighting all these battles in a grown up world. Without a mother and father no less. Even if she had her mother she was never really 'there'. She never really had the chance to act like a teenager until Amu came along. And by then she was already changed. So I thought, why not write something from Utau's point of view-attempt to comprehend what was running through her mind. So without further ado, Whispers of my heart

Utau's POV

I wiped the sweat from my forehead as the music faded out.

"Great job Utau-san! ~" You're done for today." Picking up my water bottle, I walked out of the studio as I took a swig. Dance rehearsal for my next concert was done and I could finally have a bit of a break of my never-ending schedule.

_I wonder what Ikuto is doing right now. Is he feeling okay? Has he eaten enough food? Has he been working too hard, or has he been avoiding our stepfather all day? I wish I could see him and hang out with him instead of have to deal with adults all day. I'm just a teenager; I shouldn't have to go through all this crap. _Dejectedly, I sit down on a park bench with a graceless plop. _But if I don't, then Ikuto will be in danger. Who knows what the director would make Ikuto do if I wasn't around. Even if he doesn't want my love, I have to be there for him. No matter how hard all of this is. _To my horror I find myself crying. Tired enough from my busy schedule and constantly moving around, I can't find the energy to stop them. So I just sit there in a pitiful state and let them fall. Quickly it turns into sobbing and I can't control myself anymore. _Why, why did this have to happen to us? Why did our bastard father have to go and leave us? I'm tired of all this. Everything is so hard. All I want is my brother to be safe and happy. I don't even know why I sing anymore. It used to be I wanted to become a singer just for the joy of it. Everything I sang was from my heart. And now everything I sing takes away people's hearts ._Quickly, I run home. I can't risk someone seeing me in this week, sorry state. If that Hinamori Amu saw me I'd officially be declared the looser. _Why does Ikuto favor her over me anyway? She's just a naïve little girl! I'm his sister! I'm the one he should pay attention to! Why is it that he loves her but doesn't love me? _Now home, I collapse on the couch in my apartment, feeling utterly miserable and alone. I lay there until I end up crying myself to sleep. I'll get a mouthful from Sanjou-san for missing my appointments. What did I do to deserve such a hard life?

Unaware to the slumbering Utau, the door to her apartment opens and closes.

"I never thought of Utau as careless." Ikuto remarks to himself. He turns and walks through the hallway into the living room to find his little sister sleeping on the couch. "I have a feeling she'll get in trouble for doing this." He pauses as he walks by the couch when he sees the state Utau is in. She looks completely exhausted and utterly miserable. Her expression is not unlike one of a lost child. Ikuto can feel his heart sink at the sight of his sister's tear-stained face. This is all his fault. Because he was a coward and always ran away his sister had to deal with all this crap. She didn't deserve this, she was just a girl. Yet here she was, the result of having to live an adult life. Somberly Ikuto sat on the couch next to her and briefly put his head in his hands. "I'm so sorry Utau. I've put you through this and it's all my fault. I always reject you love and I can tell it breaks you. But if I show any affection, the director will take advantage of it. And I can't give him any more leverage than he already has." He looked at her ad wiped her cheeks and brushed her hair out of her face affectionately. "Your big brother loves you Utau. I hope you know that." Ikuto stood up and disappeared further into her home. He reappeared with a blanket in hand. After draping it over her sleeping figure, he lightly kissed her on the forehead. Before leaving, Ikuto turned in the doorframe and looked back at his sister. His eyes shimmered and he gripped the doorframe tightly. Silently, he turned back and exited his little sister's apartment, closing the door behind her.

Utau slept on, completely unaware of the affection her beloved big brother showed her.

Well there you go. I hope you liked it. It was kinda short-sorry. I hope I didn't make you too sad.

R and R, I'd love to hear what you think and if this seemed accurate to you. How would you go about it?


End file.
